


It's Not You, It's Me

by krysnel_nicavis (orphan_account)



Category: Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003)
Genre: Drama, F/M, M/M, Mpreg, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-23
Updated: 2011-07-23
Packaged: 2017-10-21 16:24:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/krysnel_nicavis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Legolas is keeping something from Aragorn, what happens when he finds out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Five

**Author's Note:**

> FLASHBACKS are in the third person, (told from narrator POV) everything else in first person. (told from character POV)

_It's not you, it's me._

I've heard often that this small phrase is the beginning of most 'break-up talks'. I knew this. But never before had I ever though I'd hear it come from the lips of my love. I should not have been surprised.

 **_«««flashback»»»_ ** __

_It was a beautiful night. The sky was clear, and the stars were bright. He sat by the window. The silver rays of the moon shining down on him, giving and enchanted feel to his already mystical elven light. It was a warm night, and a gentle breeze graced his fair skin from the open window. His blond hair blowing slightly off his shoulders. A small smile found its way to his guarded lips as he felt a presence behind him. His love had awoken. He felt strong arms encircle his waist as a raspy voice spoke softly into his ear._

 _"What troubles you, my darling Legolas?"_

 _"Nothing, Estel. I merely wished to look upon the land as the light of the fair moon shone upon it," he lied. But his love could see straight through his fib._

 _"Please, do not hide your feelings from me. You know how it affects me when you despair." Legolas leaned back into his lover's embrace._

 _"I feel as if it is_ you _who keeps something hidden," he began. His thoughts strayed back a few hours as he remembered how his love had clung to him in the heat of passion._

 _"What do you mean, meleth?" His voice betrayed him slightly, as he also thought of his actions toward the elven prince._

 _"You held me as though it was the last time we'd be together." The prince's blue eyes looked slightly troubled as he surveyed the ground outside. "Like you were trying to make sure it would be the last."_

 _"Hush, meleth. I would never do that to you. I love you." Legolas turned around and let himself be fully embraced by the man who held the key to his heart. But the feeling of inevitability teased his mind, and his unease of certain situations was heightened rather than eased._

 _"I feel as if you are slowly distancing yourself from me. Like we're slowly drifting apart." His voice started to crack with emotion. "And I feel as though it is my fault."_

 _"No, Legolas nínmeleth, no." Legolas felt the arms wind around him protectively. "It's not you. It's me."_

 **_«««end flashback»»»_ **

And so here I am. Standing in the door that leads out to my balcony. Watching the new snow fall. Alone. Those five words were the beginning of the thing that shattered my heart, and sent my world crashing down around me.

The man that I loved had left me that night. Had walked away and never turned back. But I guess his reasons were not unjustified. He is the King of Gondor, and I am the Crown-Prince of Mirkwood. He needed an heir. I did too, of course, but it still hurt.

But Aragorn, son of Arathron, was different from most men in Middle-Earth. He was part elf, and by chance, he was granted an immortal elven life. He truly did not need an heir, but such a thing would be a requirement of him as the King of Men. And that, he had reasoned, was something that I, Legolas Thranduiliôn, could not give him.

It had been five months since that faithful night when the sounds of my heart breaking could be heard for miles around. Five months, and here I now stand alone in the balcony doorway of my chambers. The air is cold, though it does not bother me. And yet, I am not really alone. Ironically.

I do not realize my hand has traveled to my stomach. Not until I can feel something move beneath it. I smile slightly as I look down. My stomach was slightly swollen, but that was to be expected. My smile broadens as my child turns in my belly, though my heart is saddened at the same time. He'd left me for my inability to be in the state I am in. It matters not anymore. He is happy with his life. He will marry the Lady Arwen. She will give him the child he _wants,_ and not the one that I will give in time.

My child moves more inside me, and I begin to grow tired as the night wears on. Finally, after a few more moments surveying the winter night, I enter my chamber and close the doors. The warmth from the dying fire greets me, and I go to revive the flames.

I lay on my bed, pulling the warm covers around me. Being of elf kind, I'm not as affected by temperature, but I find the warmth comforting. I stare out the balcony doors, made of fine crystal. The actual length of time that I lay there, watching the snow, I do not know. I am only aware of the babe in my belly turning one more time before I give into the shadow of sleep. Letting myself fall into the realm of elven dreams.

\- 30 -


	2. The Council of Thranduil

"He seems to be coping with his pregnancy remarkably well, given the situation," Lord Elrond of Rivendell stated as he gazed out the window of King Thranduil's study. Legolas was walking under a snow laden tree, his winter cloak pulled around him.

"Yes. And he also is starting to look more cheerful," Celeborn, Lord of Lothlórien mused as he stood beside Elrond to gaze at the blond prince.

"Yet he still refuses to tell him," The Lady of Light Galadriel voiced what everyone knew in their hearts.

"He will have to tell him, Thranduil," Gandalf the White Wizard said from his seat near the King of Mirkwood. "There is no way around the matter. The child will be the rightful heir to both the thrones of Gondor and of Mirkwood."

"It is not me whom you should be trying to convince," Thranduil responded, no trace of anger in his words nor demeanor. "I tell him when ever I feel that he is calm enough. But no matter what, his emotions are too quick to change for him to be able to heed my words." Thranduil sighed and leaned back in his seat. "I fear for him," he said after a long pause. "For his condition."

"He will have a normal elven pregnancy. This much can be certain," Elrond explained.

"Although this is different, it is not impossible. Nor is it as uncommon as everyone seems to think," Glorfindel voiced. The three Lords, the Maia and the Lady looked at him, wonder and curiosity in their eyes. "This is very common, at least in the Undying Lands."

"But it is still very rare here in Middle-Earth," Galadriel said. "Few seem to realize that this is a gift form _Eru._ (1) For _Eru_ has the power to make the impossible possible, and the uncommon common." All the elven Lords pondered her words.

"I fear that Lord Elrond is right," Thranduil finally said. "Legolas _must_ tell Aragorn the truth."

"He still has time before the child is born, as it is not due for another few months," Celeborn reasoned.

"I must agree," Glorfindel said. "There is still time, and the King of Gondor _must_ know." With that decision agreed upon, Thranduil stood and went to the window. He peered out to watch is son balance on a small pile of snow what had fallen from the tree he was under. (A/N: hey, he's an elf, they can do that.)

To the King of Mirkwood, his only son seemed still a babe in his eyes. And yet, in about four months time, he'd be having a baby of his own.

\- 30 -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Footnotes:   
> (1) Eru: the God higher than the Valar.
> 
> A/N: Yes I know the 'my baby's having a baby' comment was uncalled for, but hey, Thranduil is a parent, parents do that.


	3. Arwen's Decision

Arwen sat in her room in Imladris, pondering over something she was still unsure of. As each day went by, she found that this thought was growing stronger.

Aragorn had proposed marriage to her. But the more she thought over it, them more it seemed wrong. It was at that moment when she realized what it was this was nagging at her from the depths of her mind.

As it happened, at the same there was a knock on the door.

"You may enter," she called. Her elder brothers came waltzing into her room and plopped themselves in chairs.(1)

"Maeraur thêl," Elladan, the younger of Elrond's twins greeted his baby sister. (2) __

"Why do you look so somber, Arwen?" Elrohir questioned when he seen the expression on her face.

"I fear I have had second thoughts as to my marrying Aragorn." Her brothers looked at her, curious surprise written clearly on their identical features.

"What brought this about, thêl?" Elladan voiced his, as well as Elrohir's, thoughts. (3)

"I do not know," she replied honestly. The only thing that was certain in her mind was that to marry the King of Gondor would be wrong. No matter how much she loved him.

"Well, tithen thêl, if your mind is made up in this matter, you know we'd support it," Elladan said. "We'll support any of your decisions." (4)

"Well, almost any," Elrohir corrected. "Just so long as it is not life threatening or anything."

\- 30 -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Footnotes:
> 
> (1) Yes I know that elves neither waltz nor plop, but I've always thought of the Imladris twins the be a bit funnier than average for elves.
> 
> (2) Maeraur thêl – Good day/Hello sister (OMG, I actually included the translations in the story!)
> 
> (3) thêl – sister
> 
> (4) tithen thêl – little sister


	4. Kitchen Musings

Gimli sat at the table in the Imladris kitchen with the very soon to be official King of Gondor. Unlike the dwarf, Aragorn just stared at his food. His eyes remained unfocused in thought. A voice, which did not come from the dwarf, nor any elf in existence, broke through his pondering.

"Why so down, Strider?" The Dunedan turned to the voice, finding there not only Frodo Baggins, but also Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took. They had all come to Imladris for a reunion of sorts. He smiled at them. After everything they'd gone through, they'd still retained their innocent looks. But if one looked into their eyes, they would be met with the wisdom and understanding of people who've gone through hard times and battle, and emerged victorious and insightful.

"I am merely pondering the life that I have chosen," he answered, letting a small smile play across his lips. His brain added silently _and wondering of the things I've lost._ Five long months he'd spent trying to convince himself that the separation from Legolas was the right thing. But the feeling in his heart told otherwise.

"Heartache heals in time, my lad," Gimli said from his seat, still feasting on the food that the elven cook had prepared him. His comment caught Aragorn off guard. More because it was right on the mark.

"And don't even try to deny it, Aragorn," Frodo agreed. "We know who it is what your heart aches for. There is no shame in it either." The other hobbits were also agreeing. In response, Aragorn did nothing but stare at all of them. He could do nothing. They were right. They were all right. But as for what to do about it, that was another concept all together.

\- 30 -


	5. Thoughts In Mirkwood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: For the sake of my story, Boromir did not die. Also, this is definitely an AU story, as much of it does not run parallel to the actual story line.
> 
> FLASHBACKS are in the third person, (told from narrator POV) everything else in first person. (told from character POV)

Boromir rode through the thick woods of Mirkwood, listening to the sounds of nature around him. His brother, Faramir, had set out for Rohan. The marriage between Éowyn and Faramir was to take place in the province of Rohon in the Kingdom of the Horse Lords. Of course Éomer, being both the present King of the Riddermark and Éowyn's brother, ahd insisted upon this, and the stewards of Gondor were nothing short of happy to comply.

Before leaving, Faramir had encouraged him into a well needed break from his duties a short time ago. Actually, the newly appointed Prince of Ithilien had all but pushed him out the door. This, of course, had lead to his current destination. It had been a long time since he'd seen the elven prince. The blond archer had made himself scarce since the night in Minas Tirith when he'd quietly left. Trying to leave before anyone awoke. But, much to the prince's annoyance, Boromir had happened to be awake and wandering the halls. He'd walked into the stables as his elven friend was saddling his horse.

 **_«««flashback»»»_ **

_"Where, pray tell, are you running off to, my elvish friend?" He'd asked, his voice slightly teasing. They had become great friends since the one ring had been destroyed. "Or is it that you're running_ away _form something or someone?"_

 _"I do not run to or from anything, human," Legolas bit back, equally teasing. Boromir just grinned at the blond elf, who was clearly about to do some of this running that he denied._

 _"Come now, fair Legolas. Do not lie to me. I know there is something bothering you." Boromir walked over to the stall that Legolas' horse was in, and leaned on the railing. "Do not leave like this."_

 _"Like how?" Legolas questioned as he secured his saddle bags to his horse. "In the dead of night, or angry and heartbroken?" Boromir opened the gate to the stall and stepped in._

 _"Tell me, Legolas," he said simply. "Tell me what he did to make you feel this way." Boromir knew of the relationship between the Elven Prince and the Gondorian King. The whole fellowship knew. Even if the two denied it._

 _"It is not what he did," Legolas answered as he finished readying his horse. He now simply stood, one hand on the saddle, his back to Boromir. With a hushed voice, he continued. "It is was I could not do."_

 _"Legolas, look at me," Boromir commanded gently. The stubborn elf did not. "Legolas," he said again. The prince slowly turned to the steward of Gondor. His eyes were brimming with unshed tears, but his pride was trying desperately to hold them back. The kind sympathetic expression on the man's face was all it took for the elf to give in and let his tears fall. He'd all but collapsed into the arms of his friend. Boromir held the smaller form, rubbing his back soothingly and trying to comfort the broken elf._

 **_«««end flashback»»»_ **

He had seen the elven prince safely off before any more beings were aware of his departure. He was also wondering why he should be surprised that he hadn't heard from the elf in the past five months. The only thing that surprised him was that even Gimli hadn't had any contact with the proud Prince of Mirkwood.

The elder son of Denethor was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed that a group of creatures had surrounded him, and were moving with him. Silent as though they were mere spirits and not living. It was not until he heard a hushed in his ear that he became aware of his surroundings.

\- 30 -


	6. At Elrond's Request

They were all sitting around the kitchen table in Imladris when a servant entered.

"Lord Aragorn?" the servant inquired.

"Yes?" Aragorn replied.

"The Lady Arwen request to speak with you in the library." Aragorn nodded and followed the servant to the where his intended sat behind her father's desk. She rose when he entered the room, dismissing the servant.

"You wished to speak with me, Arwen?" Aragorn asked as they sat on a couch.

"My father has sent a messenger here from Mirkwood," she replied. "He requests that everyone go there."

"Everyone?"

"Yes. You, me, my brothers, and the rest of the fellowship."

"I wonder, why does he wish us to congregate in the Kingdom of Thranduil?" Aragorn tried to think of what could possibly be so important. He felt his chest tighten at the thought of the Mirkwood Prince. _Would it be wise for me to go to Kingdom of the Woodland Realm?_ Aragorn thought. _Or would it just hinder any chance of rekindling the friendship that, it seems to me, all but completely lost._

"He did not specify his reasons. He just says that it is something tht is in the best intrest of all that we be there," Arwen replied. "There is something else." Aragorn, who had been looking at the floor in thought, looked up at her quickly.

"What is it? Is there something wrong." Arwen smiled at his concern.

"No, nothing wrong. At least nothing that cannot be undone." He gave her a questioning look. "It is just that, I have been having certain feelings as of late. I feel that I must make a change in a certain decision."

"What decision is that, Arwen?"

"The decision concerning us, Aragorn." She took a breath. "I do not wish there to be any hard feelings between us, and I believe my heart would be lighter if we could end it in kindness, not in anger or sorrow." She waited to judge his reaction. "Do you now hate me because of my change in decision." He looked into her eyes. _Should_ he feel anger? _Should_ he feel sorrow? He looked into his heart and found he felt none of these things. In fact, he felt even more respect for her.

"No. No, I have no hate you, Arwen." He smiled. "Actually, you have come to have more strength in this than I." It was her turn to look confused. "You were the one brave enough to face the feelings that would have torn us apart. If it is your wish to end what is between us, on such good terms, I consent as well." Her smile had returned.

"I am happy that you agree," she said simply.

"Also, I feel that there is something that should be returned to you. I have tried to return it before, but I am wondering if you would still refuse it." He removed the Evenstar necklace from his neck.

"It would make sense for me to accept it this time, but I would wish for you to keep it. Of course, at the moment, I shall accept it. But when the time comes, I shall find an excuse to honor you with it, in friendship and in peace." She turned around to allow him to hook it around her neck. When she turned back around, they smiled at each other.

"Let us go to the others and tell them of our departure at first light tomorrow." With that done, the two made their way down to the kitchens where they found Elladan and Elrohir had joined the four hobbits and Gimli. The hobbits were currently singing and drinking and dancing, much to amusement of Gimli and the Imladris twins, and any other beings who passed.

\- 30 -


	7. Arrivals

“It is unlike you, Steward, to go so unguarded.” Boromir was snapped out of his reverie by the feeling of the point of a sword lightly resting at his throat. The tone of the voice, however, was light and amused.

“Is it a new Elvish policy to ambush an individual who is so harmlessly passing through,” Boromir replied, equally amused. He turned a raised eyebrow to Haldir, a warden on the borders of Lothlorien and the Elf who lead the Elvin archers at the battle of Helms Deep. The elf allowed himself to smirk at this before sheathing his sword.

“It has been long, Son of Denethor, since our paths last crossed.”

“Indeed. And such a surprise for it to occur here in Mirkwood, of all places. Did they finally come to their senses and toss you from the borders of fair Lorien?” Boromir teased.

“Alas, no,” Haldir said in a voice that was almost a tone of mocking despair. “I fear my Lord and Lady could not do without me on their travels to meet with the Elvin King of the Woodland Realm.” Boromir grinned at his Elvin company’s humour. “Since we are here, the Lorien guard has joined with the Woodland guard in patrolling the surrounding forests, so here I am.” The group of Elves and lone human continued their way through the thick forest of Mirkwood. “What is it, may I ask, that brings you here as of late. Certainly you are not shirking your duties to the King.”

“Indeed, no. As a matter of fact my dear younger brother, Faramir, tossed me from the Kingdom and ordered that I get some ‘much needed rest’.” The elves laughed lightly at this. “I must admit I have not seen my young Elvish friend in many months, in fact no one has. So I decided to take it upon myself to find out exactly what it is he is up to.”

“Well, then it is well that you have decided to come here and not take your rest elsewhere, our messengers would never have found you otherwise. I remember overhearing Lord Elrond requesting that the entire Fellowship be invited to the Woodland Realm,” Haldir explained. “It seems that there is some news that is of particular interest to all parties involved.”

“Would you happen to be privy to such news so that I might have something to look forward to?”

“I am aware of why it is the Fellowship is requested to attend a reunion of sorts here in the Kingdom of Thranduil. However, I’m afraid I take too much pleasure in the knowledge that you must remain in suspense.”

“Yes, no doubt it is regretful,” Boromir rolled his eyes.

“No matter, you shall find out soon enough.” The small group was entering the main city of the Woodland Realm. They weaved through the city towards the house of Thranduil, the setting very much like that of Rivendell. (1) As he was dismounting his horse in the courtyard of the Elvin King’s home, Boromir heard a voice call to him that he hadn’t heard in months.

“Boromir! My friend, I wasn’t expecting you to arrive so soon.” He turned towards the voice where the young Prince of Mirkwood was standing atop the small staircase, clothed in a winter cloak.

“Legolas, my friend, I cannot tell you how good it is to see you doing so well,” Boromir greeted as he ascended the stairs. “But you must tell me why it is you have made yourself scarce.”

“Yes, I fear I owe everyone an explanation. I will explain it to the others when they arrive, but if you would walk with me I will explain it to you now.” The two began to stroll through the halls of the large house in silence, large and beautifully crafted windows to one side allowing a view of the snow covered forest surrounding the Elvin settlement.

“I have the sneaking feeling that this has something to do with what you _weren’t_ running from all those months ago,” Boromir said in the quiet halls. “And yet, I feel that there is also something more.”

“One could never get much by you, human. I am afraid it has much to do with what I _wasn’t_ running from.” Boromir stayed silent as his friend became lost in thought. “As you know, I left that night due to a… disagreement, between myself and Aragorn. He felt that the path he was to take wasn’t the one with me.” Legolas sighed. “I suppose it was to be expected. He is a King of Men, and as such there are certain obligations to follow through with.”

“You speak of marriage? And children?”

“Alas, I do.” He sighed again. “But all these months later and I find that there was the possibility that I needn’t worry of such things.” Boromir was confused at this last statement.

“Why do you mean?”

“I’ve been told that this is not an uncommon occurrence in the Undying Lands, and although in Middle Earth it is rare it has still been known to happen,” Legolas said, trying to find the best possible way to explain his condition.

“My friend, what is it? You can tell me anything and I give you my word that I will not pass judgement,” Boromir said, trying to give support.

“Thank you. However my news will still shock you.” Legolas took a deep breath and just came out with it. “I’m pregnant.”

\- - -

“We’re almost there, I can tell.”

“Gimli, if this is anything like the time you claimed to have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox…”

“Have a care Sam, we should trust Gimli. He _has_ been here before.”

“But Mr. Frodo, so has Strider! I really think we ought be following him!”

“Shush! We’re in perilous woods, lads. We must exercise extreme caution so’s not to attract attention- oh!”

“The dwarf _still_ breaths so loud that we could have shot him yards from the forest entrance, let alone in the dark,” Haldir said as his arrow was pointed at Gimli.

“Haldir, what a pleasant surprise to find you here, so far from home,” Arwen greeted the Lorien Elf as he lowered his bow.

“Always a pleasure, my Lady.” He bowed his head in greeting. “And to all of you. The King of the Woodland Realm and his son have been awaiting your arrival, and I must say we all expected your party to arrive a few days ago. Was the journey hard?”

“Not at all, Mr. Haldir,” Merry said.

“We were just following he who breaths too loud,” Pippin added.

“Why you little-” Gimli began to protest.

“Please, let us not delay any longer,” Haldir interrupted. “I am sure you are all as anxious to see the Crown Prince as he is to see all of you. The group followed Haldir and the other Elves patrolling the woods into the Elvin city. When the group entered the Halls of Thranduil, a messenger approached them.

“My Lady Arwen, Lords Elladan and Elrohir, your father wishes to speak with you in the library.”

“Thank you,” Arwen said as she and her brothers made their way to their father. The messenger turned to the rest of the party.

“My Lord Elassar, if you would follow me, I am to take you to the Prince. And if the rest of you will follow the attendants, you will be shown to your rooms.” Aragorn followed the messenger as he walked back through the halls of the House. A few minutes later Aragorn found himself standing at the door of the one being he was most anxious and even a little fearful to see. He rose his hand an knocked on the door.

“You may enter,” Legolas’ voice sounded through the door. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, Aragorn pushed open the door.

\- 30 -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Footnotes:   
> (1) I actually have no idea how the Woodland Realm looks as it wasn’t in the movie.
> 
> Author’s End Note: I really had fun with this chapter; I found the language extremely fun to play with and write. It seems like the setting of Middle Earth demanded a different lingual flow, separate from either the Harry Potter or CSI universes where the language is very contemporary. Also, I was aiming to make it a longer chapter than the others were (I actually couldn’t believe the others were so short!)

**Author's Note:**

> I think "meleth" is elvish for "love", and "nínmeleth" is elvish for "my love". It’s been a very long time since I ventured into the realm of LOTR so my elvish is rusty.


End file.
